It's a perversion.

You've no room to talk, you and your tastes. Gods know most people would be far more horrified by your daydreams than by mine.

Perhaps. I confine my desires to dreams, though, whereas you set loose your fantasies and let them stalk the earth.

*snicker* Sour grapes. You know if you could get away with it, you'd take your pleasures just as greedily as I take mine. Be thankful I've found a way to slake this particular thirst that doesn't seem likely to lead to harm.

How can you say that? You saw how the girl reacted. You saw how much it tore at the boy afterward. You saw this, and you still claim there is no harm done?

Her foolishness is never a cause for my guilt. You know as well as any in here that if she'd made a single stab at asking for our help, our protection, then even without a collar around her pretty throat she likely would have had our aid.

...likely?

If she'd tried to pray to her half-god lover for help, nothing we could have done would have kept her from the creature's wrath.

She's not that foolish. Aye, she tried to summon him in other ways, but that's hardly enough to call her out on. And you noticed how quick she was to blank out everything, even him, to get her way. She's a vixen, sure enough, and gods help the boy when she tires of him.

Why would she? He's pretty, devoted, even dangerous at times. Everything a girl could want.

You've said it often enough. She's like us. She won't be satisfied forever, not by him, not by anyone. She'll always need more, even if she can't explain why, and sooner or later it'll be the end of his blind devotion and of her need to keep him. Oh, she'll cling as long as she can, even when he ceases to interest her... but I don't think she will recognize what a prize she has until it's too late and she's hurt him more than he is willing to bear.

And let me guess, you'll be there to pick up the pieces?

Why not?

Because he deserves better.

...coming from you, that's rather ironic.

*polite smile* Fuck you.

Hey. Speak usefully or keep quiet. This isn't a chatroom.

He does, though. He's got so much strength, so much rage, and so much love. He's damn near pure emotion, clad in a body the gods would envy, with a sharp mind and a quick enough tongue. He is loyal, far more loyal than she deserves - or than we deserve, for that matter. What should have been an opportunity to teach turned into nothing more than a feeding frenzy and it disgusts me, as I suspect it disgusts the boy, as it SHOULD disgust you.

You're asking me to turn up my nose at a banquet when I have had naught but crumbs for years.

I'm asking you to find the survival instinct you're supposed to be helping us protect. Stop pushing those particular buttons.

And deny the creature freedom?

Don't even start with that. It's not his freedom you're interested in. You want a hellhound on a leash again, and you won't be satisfied until you succeed or take us all down trying.

I'll not deny I want that too... but I think even he would agree that the comparative freedom of my leash and collar is better than being trapped in darkness for months on end.

No.

Yes.

Yes.

YES, gods yes. To be trapped, locked away, unable to speak or act or feed...

You weren't invited to this discussion, boy. You've no place at this conference and no call to speak.

Forgive me, please. It's a subject I can't help commenting on.

You can and you will. Go curl up at your lover's feet and keep silent, or you'll be shut away again.

Shh, love. Let them rant. You at least understand why I do what I do.

*emphatic nod*

And THAT would be another topic. When do you intend to explain to any of them why it is you were so disappointed and hurt when your kitten left, why you've wanted him back, why the mutt and now this jackel catch your fancy so?

Never. Not a one of them would understand. Even those accustomed to the idea of a Collection such as this would be less than comforted by that particular notion. Hell, in the years he was with us, did I ever mention that particular dream to the kitten? No. Nor will I. EVER.

How d'you expect to manage, then?

Sooner or later, there'll be one with room in his head for another voice. It will happen. And then...

...then I can touch you, hold you, with more than just this half-dreamed fragment of myself.

You two... Daya, why won't you accept that it's never going to happen?

Hope's a precious thing.

And a dangerous one. Hope is what gets you broken.

For the chance to make this real? Worth it. WORTH IT, do you hear? And until then, I'll take my pleasure where I can, when I can, and not a one of you is strong enough to stop me, not when I stalk through this skull rather than dance my way through others' dreams, not when I truly want something. Remember whose will and whim helped form this chaos of voices that we call 'I'.

...pride.

Justified.

You're going to get burnt, girl. You're starting to play with things that aren't going to just back down when you shake a finger at them.

I. Don't. Care.

On your head be it, then.

In the end, isn't it always? And hey, at least I found out what it was that screamed so desperately. Like calls to like, they say.

What's truly sad is that I'm actually less worried now.

What? Why?

Because she's got a reason for that twisted affection, now. I understand what was drawing her to him. Better this than a faceless unknown.

...we'll see.

*a long silence, then:*

While I'm thinking of it, can I just say that I'm tired of being told that I'm going to get hurt? For the last time, I KNOW. I suffer. I exist. Same thing.

Has it occurred to you that maybe if you took our advice for once you wouldn't get hurt?

Honestly? No. I'm not going to cower behind your definitions of what is good or safe or right. I never have.

I think I like her better when she's dreamdrunk.

*wicked grin* And yet here I stand, sober and awake, and there isn't a damned thing you can do about it.

Perhaps. That had the sound of a challenge, though. Thank you - you've just given me enough justification to find a way to pull you back.

Let her be.

You were told before, stay out of this! Go find your physical form somewhere else, stop lurking here. You're only making it worse.

Worse? WORSE? I'm the one who has held her together when none of you could or would. I'm the one who has risked existance just to warn you, to help you, to protect you. I'm the one who bears scars because of your foolishness, and you claim I'm making things worse?

I...

Don't.

...I'm so-

I said, don't. He earned those scars himself, even if they were triggered by your actions. Let him rant for a moment. He can't do anything else... can you, boy?

N..no.

And you, little one, stop glaring at me. To be honest, I'm still of the opinion that you're going to get hurt, as most of them are, but I could really care less. You need to be what you are, and no threat of pain could ever be enough to keep you from that. I'll defend your right to what you're doing... on one condition.

And that is?

The creature said something, I can't recall what, about fearing him or hating him or some such nonsense. I could tell you wanted to speak... but not what you wanted to say. I'm curious.

*faint smile* There's a line from a movie: "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." If he were bound to me, truly bound, with vows even a creature such as he would be forced to honor, I would worship him. If he were mine, I would kill for him, I would die for him, I would feed him on dreams and souls and the taste of fresh-spilled blood. If the collar around the boy's throat were around his as well, he would find that what he gains far outweighs what small portion of his pride he would surrender.

I'm not sure that's an answer.

I wanted to tell him that. I couldn't find the words, none that would fit the moment, none that would scream truth rather than passing fancy, and I will not speak to him with deceit on my tongue, not ever. He has been beaten back into the shadows by a woman's spite and a boy's fear, he's heard lies from a hundred other souls. He will never hear one from me. So... he will not hear this either, not unless and until he would believe it, not unless and until I am certain I mean it.

And not until it's pretty enough, hm?

What good is a word if it turns to ash in your mouth? To him, I'll speak in silver tracery, bloodstains, moth wings and the gleam in a panther's eye.

You really are in love, aren't you?

Yes.

For what it's worth, I wish you well.

...thank you.