You know you shouldn't even be posting this.

I can't help it. He makes me want to sing.

He's not yours to sing to, not really. Leave him be.

Never. There's something in him screaming, always screaming, I can hear it so loud just behind my eyes when he looks at me...

Leave her alone. She's dreamdrunk, on the edge of dancing, and if she wants to prophesy it's really her own business. You know how she gets.

It's that she's doing it publically that worries me.

Worries US, thank you.

Fine. Us. She doesn't need to be spilling this particular cup of wine.

think of me when her hands touch your body
dream of what I am
my will, my whim,
you're going under
sink down, submit,
my dreambound lover
you're the angel and the demon both
sheltered inside the broken boy

See what I mean? Rahani's tainted her, and she's only seeing that now. Hell, she's... stop that!

Ahh. Yeah, I see the problem. We shouldn't have to struggle to type this, there's supposed to be, for the duration of an entry, shared control. She's gathering up threads that she shouldn't be touching.

More than that, even. You know she's half the reason for what we can do. If she decides to fixate on this boy-

Decides? Haven't you heard her call him t'lesh?

Yes. Three times, now. He hasn't asked what it means.

GOOD. There's only one obsession anyone in here should have, at least of that sort, and she's off in Israel right now.

No shit. But... well, how the fuck do we turn her off of this?

I'm not entirely sure we can.

think of me when you can't stop crying
dream of dead tomorrow
no pain, no fear,
my soul your shelter
my words will say
the things you can't tell her
when the angel and the demon both
lie mute beneath the broken boy

She's falling for him.

I know. So does anyone else with half a brain who notices how she looks at him.

Or how she touches him.

Do we know WHY she's falling?

Heh, it'd almost be a shorter list if you asked why NOT.

He reminds her of what she's had, and at the same time comforts her so she doesn't miss it. He's pretty, damned pretty. He's intelligent, a quick wit and a sharp tongue, fun to talk with. He's got a dark streak that runs deeper than most people see, and she appreciates that. He's been hurt, and you know she likes them wounded... though she won't admit it.

Why is that, incidentally?

She wants to be in their mind as the one who heals them. That way, even if she hurts them, be it accidentally or on purpose, they'll come to her, stay with her, because they'll know she will ease the pain.

That's not the only reason.

Oh? What else, pray tell?

She likes their sorrow. More than anyone else in here, she revels in misery, just as completely as she does in bliss. That's what she's getting from him that she hasn't gotten from anyone else recently, the wealth of emotion to feed from, play in...

...it fuels the writing, the artwork, all of it. If she doesn't have a suitable source of energy and emotion, she dries up. There has to be something, someone she can touch, a pair of eyes she can stare into. That's something that shouldn't be too hard to understand; all of us need a trigger of that sort, someone to inspire the sort of passion that translates easily into text or ink or pixels.

So this recent burst of art and story is...?

Yes. He's her next muse.

you'll rage, you'll scream,
you swore to follow
I'll drag you in
when words seem hollow

Funny.

Hm?

Normally when something like this happens, I feel sorry for the boy or girl who she's going to entangle. This time... meh. This time, I actually feel sorry for her. Still, unrequited love is a potent emotion.

Not entirely one-sided, the boy does care for her.

Only enough to make the ache sweeter and the break sharper when it comes.

...I'm not sure about that.

Explain.

Let her finish first.

when the devil and the saint both are silenced,
I will sing to you
my angel
my demon
my broken boy

She's done; explain.

Of all of us, she falls in love once in a blue moon. She'll go along with whatever drama the rest of us stumble into, write poetry for whichever light'o'love catches our fancy, and so on, but beyond that usually she's just not involved. Too many other things to dream about, you know how it goes.

So?

So the more she realizes that she can't have what it is she's dreaming about, the worse she feels... and gods, when he finally does leave it's going to hurt her a LOT. She's started thinking like Rahani, like any Mistress, and it's not really penetrating that she can't keep him.

...hm? Keep who?

Your charming little 'broken boy', that's who. Weren't you listening?

No, actually. Or rather, I was trying not to. A bit slipped through but I was hoping I was just mis-hearing it. Let me guess, you find my affection for him somehow threatening?

We find it foolish, and little else.

You shouldn't. And you're somewhat wrong - I know quite well I can't have him, know as well that it will hurt when he slips away, I just think that it's worth the pain.

Mhmm. Care to tell us WHY you think any pleasure could be worth that much pain?

First - and stop giving me that look - is that it won't be quite as much pain as you seem to think. The pleasure of such drama will balance out a sizeable portion of it. Second, he's a solution to a problem that the rest of you seemed to be having difficulty solving. No, he's not Kadin. Never will be. But he can scratch oh-so-many of the same itches, he's actually HERE, and hell, he's cute, well-hung, and snuggles tolerably well. As long as he's in Rahani's collar, he keeps that particular gnawing loss down to a dull roar. Third, if I - we - don't have him, what do you think will happen the moment he realizes his girl chooses another man over him? You know how close his self-image is to turning self-destructive. I like the boy-

As do we all, truth be told.

Exactly. We all care about him, and you recognize as surely as I do that when he realizes what's going on, he'll need someone to hold onto, someone to keep him whole and safe, to pull him back and help him return to being who he is, who he should be.

And if she keeps him in the dark long enough for her... infatuation... with that silver-tongued son of a whore's-get snake and a festering sharkbite to pass?

Lovely description of him. And she won't. He's already guessed at it, close enough that if we'd told him the whole truth rather than just the part that seemed to be a denial of that it would have only been confirming what he'd said rather than telling him anything new. It'll come to a head soon, he'll ask her to choose between himself and the other one, and we all know which one she'll choose.

Yeah.

So we have to keep him.

And the fact that he's a damn-near-perfect slaveboy, useful and pleasing and oh so satisfying, is just a bonus?

Pretty much. *wry grin* If it was up to me, he'd never be uncollared and unowned again. Thing is, it's not up to me, it's up to him, and I'm afraid that he'll decide his training is complete or he's bored of the whole thing before she breaks his heart, and then he'll just break, period.

Oh, come on. Give him more credit than that.

No, she's right. It's not going to be easy, putting him back together again.

And just as we can't tell her how big of a mistake it is to let herself be drawn in by the arrogant brat she's decided is her lord and master, we can't tell him how big of a mistake it is to be so confident, so certain he owns her heart.

He is a slave.

Precisely. He's said it himself, he lives to make others happy. He wants to serve, needs to serve, to be useful and pleasing and loved... and when he figures out that he can't make her happy, that nothing he can do or say will make him better in her eyes than the other man, it's going to hurt him far worse than any whip or crop or paddle ever could. It's damn near going to kill him... but if we TELL him, try to warn him, he won't believe it regardless, and will just accuse us of trying to drive a wedge between him and the girl. Better to stay silent, if it means we can at least be there to pick up the pieces.

But it hurts.

Yes, it hurts. It hurts that I can't really have him, hurts to know that if it were me he loved he might not end up in so much agony, hurts every time I realize that he is in that collar only because she asked it of him. Sure, I was the one who offered it, offered not only the collar but training to go with it, but he did it for her sake, and every time he looks at her rather than at me I get hit over the head with that fact, over and over again. And. It. Is. Worth. It.

*shrug* Just don't come crying to us when the pain gets worse.

I won't.

...there's something else you're not saying.

What? My hope?

Yes. That's a rather dirty little secret, and I think it would be better if you shared it, and let the others help disabuse you of the notion.

...

Now.

*rolls her eyes* Fine. Sooner or later, he's going to see what he is in her eyes whenever the other one is around: nothing. He'll have no job, no home of his own, no girlfriend, no lover, nothing. He'll be forced to feel that there is not even a reason for him to exist... except for one. I will want him.

He pleases me, when he is collared. He serves me, when he is my property. He is useful, treasured, wanted, desired, loved, when he is bound to me, owned by me. No matter what the world says, no matter how it treats him, when he is kneeling at my feet he'll KNOW with absolute certainty that he is something of great value, a treasure not to be discarded lightly. I rather suspect that will be enough to not only help heal him when he shatters, but also enough to bind him to me, to us, tightly enough that maybe then he won't leave. He'll want what I can give him, the knowledge that for at least one person he is one of the most important things in existance, the safety of being owned, knowing that he always has a place here, that I will never send him away as long as he belongs to me.

Manipulative much?

You know me, sister-mine. Dreams are but the paints and canvas; the tools, if you will, to help me shape the world. He can dreamdance now, he can meet me on MY plane, and for that alone I would do my best to ensure he never ceases to be at the very least a friend and packmate.

*sigh* ...you're going to get hurt. That's all I needed to say, the rest is on your head.

It's a price I gladly pay. He's worth the world.